Roller Derby Fever at Chenille Macabre!

Well, this weekend was busy. I'm back from a big ol' AMPUTHEATRE game at SIMCON, and I had a great time. Thanks to all who came out and played The World's Goriest Board Game. It sounds like many of you have been eager to play, and I'm delighted that you finally received your opportunity. As always, figures are available in the store, and I'll be adding new ones over the days to come.

But not this week. I wanted to take a quick reprieve from AMPUTHEATRE to put up something new...

With my wife joining the Roc City Roller Derby, I was inspired to make fantasy roller derby miniatures! Groove to these deluxe miniatures all cruising for brusings on the bank track! The undying vengeance of the Onryou! The dirty tricks of the She-Devil! The petrifying gaze of the Medusa! And last but never least, the no-nonsense grit and determination of the Derby Girl! All handmade, all unique, all signed! Buy yours today! (Miniatures sold separately.)

...I so badly want to make a board game with these girls. Oh yes.

Any offers...?

Behold: Crossface!

I noticed that the Psychopath Miniatures section of the store was running a little empty, so I threw some new miscreants in there. Go check them out.

I've also (finally) uploaded new photos to the Chenille Macabre Gallery. With my favorite sold pieces, it's over twice as big as before. I'll be changing a lot of my links to here; relying on deviantART is a little tacky. (Forgive me if comments like "Boy, I'd sure like to have that" wear on a soul such as myself who 1) dwells in a world built upon trade and transactions and 2) wonders what part of the "Buy me!" link seems to confuse people...)

On the AMPUTHEATRE front, I'll be at SIMCON at the University of Rochester this Saturday (12-4 pm) and Sunday (9:30- 2pm) to run a demo of its horrific gameplay. Come see me!

...I'm still waiting on the rulebook, nonetheless I'm going to keep making AMPUTHEATRE figures to stock the store...


...such as the evil reverend Crossface! On sale now!

...I know, I know- not quite as good as the one I made for my sister:


...but not only is he just a tad out of scale for tournament play, but I got the vibe that the Build-A-Bear Workshop didn't seem like they ever wanted to see me again. They don't offer little black hearts to sew into your bears, sadly. Besides, using real Bibles for the skirt gets expensive.

See you at the Con!

Chenille Macabre on Toy Break!

I woul 've poste this sooner, but we've ha no hot water for a few ays, which has ma e me hate everything that oesn't offer me anything but cleanliness. Including the "D" key on my keyboard. Little fucker. Staring at me weird... you saw it; he wanted to start up some shit...

But now we're back.

If you check out the Chenille Macabre Home Page, you'll see my work featured on the March 16th episode of Toy Break! It's an excitedly positive review around the 19:15 mark. Thanks go out to Colby for sending the monsters he bought at ZombieFest 2008 off to the show, and to Spencer in Lawrenceville, GA for alerting me to the show (and for buying the adorably repugnant Rot Demon)!

On the AMPUTHEATRE Home Page is now a "Store" link that directly takes you to the AMPUTHEATRE section of the Etsy store, to make the purchase of figures easier.

And while we're on the subject of AMPUTHEATRE, two more things...

1. I'll be at SIMCON 2009 in my hometown of Rochester, NY this coming weekend of March 28-29, hosting an AMPUTHEATRE Splatter Royal, which is just basically people rotating in and out as they slice each other to ribbons. As always, there's no pre-registration; all you need is your con badge and you can play.
2. Evil Warden Jeff Thelen has started up an AMPUTHEATRE FaceBook group. Of course, anytime I link to something in FaceBook, it never works- so if you're on FaceBook, and you want to be a part of the group, you know what to do.

...By the way, a few of you have alerted me to the new game for the Nintendo Wii- MadWorld- an outrageously violent game which possesses the same spirit of AMPUTHEATRE, with my favorite style of artwork (black, white and red all over). It looks absolutely gorgeous.

Sadly, I don't have a Wii (I've never been a big fan of Nintendo) so I'll either have to wait for SEGA to make it for my XBOX360, or swap consoles for a week with my Wii-owning friends Chris and Justine Pallace, who I know want a week alone with Left 4 Dead, Dead Rising, and Condemned: Criminal Origins...

...but you wouldn't know it

...C'mon, Gil. How hard can this thing be to update? Oy.

It stems from building monsters every day- which is near to what I do nowadays- leaving me little time to wax poetic on teh intrawebs. And when I do get some time, I don't feel exorbitantly witty or anything... so my blog just rots... unloved... blah... tell Laura it loves her...

Business.



Well, I will be at Horror Realm 2009 (formerly the ZombieFest) in Pittsburgh, PA this fall. Which means there will be Chenille Macabre, there will be AMPUTHEATRE, and there will be me spending my hard-earned pipe cleaner money on more hard-to-find horror memorabilia. Last year's swag included a Dawn Of The Dead T-shirt autographed by Ken Foree and this striking image from a crazy-pantspants-carzy named Joshua Hoffine- which I also had autographed, and framed for my wife for Xmas.

The rulebook for AMPUTHEATRE is coming soon. The website is also being updated, a piece at a time. The figures are out now, and you can buy them here.


Our newest Slasher, the sinister Bagman, is both for sale and part of the Etsy Dark Team's Monthly Exhibition for March, as well as two packs of my Zombie Minis! Go check those out.

And gosh; is it me, or do Gnash and Jinglebunny look just a little different than last we saw them...? That's because they, along with a certain eyeball-yanking phantom, have been bought; boo yah!

So I put new figures of them up as soon as I could. Which brings me to a certain point I need to make: when I remake figures, I'll be making them a touch different every time. This is my creative license.

But under no circumstances will they play any different. A Jinglebunny with googly eyes has the exact same Slasher sheet as one with felt eyes. Yes- I understand the prospect of lots more money trickling out of my hands, whizzing down my leg, and into the sewer, but in my opinion, getting two different characters out of either a different pair of pants or- worse- a more dramatic pose is... what are the words? Right. Really, really ashamedly LAME.

I told myself I'd build at least one more psychopath mini tonight. Don't forget: Horror Realm 2009!

Like Jason and Michael, we have risen once more

We were down, but we're back. The AMPUTHEATRE site is now back up- under the website that is currently making the game: Chenille Macabre.

And if you haven't seen the figures I'm currently selling... well, what are you waiting for?

My site went down at the worst possible time- right after one of the most lucrative horror shows I've ever done. But now that it's BACK, I can announce games of AMPUTHEATRE at the following shows:

SIMCON 2009 at the University of Rochester
March 28th, from 12pm - 4pm
March 29th, from 9:30am - 2pm

UBCon 2009 at the University of Buffalo
April 18th, from 9am-6pm
April 19th, from 9am-5pm

At the UBCon I'll also be selling some Chenille Macabre work over at the table, with my good pals Bags That Bite and Bent Castle Workshops.


...It is SO GOOD to be back online. That's one less albatross around my neck...

So yes, there are figures for sale. The rulebook is coming soon. I just wanted the figures up on Friday the 13th, so that could be a neat point of trivia for the eventual Wikipedia entry. :P Of course, what with there being a second Friday the 13th in March... duh...

I'm putting the last few touches on the book as we speak. It's looking to be a 36-page rulebook. I've adding the new rules that I've posted about. I tweaked two things:

• I've removed the Guard Breaks and Parries. I just never remembered we had them.
• Reversing a Resist (Arcana-based) Attack lets you perform an Onslaught against your Attacker. It just makes a lot more sense than them falling down as in the past. I love the idea of whipping around and slicing open Crossface's throat when he's trying to convince you to go beat up perceived agents of Satan. "Fuck THAT noise!"

So don't worry, the game will still run smoothly.

Off now to go update all of my links. I owe Jen Beaven a huge round of thanks. I'll start with a link to her Pencognito strip, and work my way up from there.

AMPUTHEATRE Figures for sale!

Okay, this is that big crazy thing I was warning everyone about, and here it is: Eight figures- Malice, Gnash, Jinglebunny, the Jack of Clubs, Ashezz, Nine Lives, Mr. Eyeball Plucker, and Mandibula- are the first wave of AMPUTHEATRE figures currently for sale at the Chenille Macabre Etsy store.

Each one is custom-made by me, has removable limbs and a head, and will come with their Slasher Sheets, Bloodcounts, and game markers. I am asking between $25-40 for the figures, inherent upon the effort required to make them. To make them affordable, the figures have been scaled down to 3" in height, and they play on a 6 x 8 square grid, with spaces measuring 2.25" square (in case you wanted to get started on making a board...)

I always said I'd never do this, because it would be nothing sort of in-motherfucking-sane and I'd never meet demand. And yet, there's something liberating about doing these all by myself... no compromises on their appearances, no ungodly costs towards plastic production, able to change their costumes if I like... yeah. This should be fun.

The rulebook is coming soon. Honest. I want it as bad as you do. But I wanted to get the figures up today- Friday the 13th- in preparation for the possible Wikipedia article about this game.

This is the first wave. Next up are Lycosus, Crucifiend, Trigger Treat and the Thicket. I'll have them up soon. I want to see how well these guys do.

...And for the record, game testing will continue. Send me some evenings that you would be up for it.

Wish me luck, okay...?

So it begins...

Of all the quotes one can get out of the Lord Of The Rings movies, that's the one that sticks with me. King Theodin atop the walls of Helm's Deep, noticing that the Uruk-Hai kegger outside has gotten all kinds of rowdy. So it begins, he mutters aloud. I speak of course of Christmas- or Christmonth, as I like to call it. Radio stations belching out Xmas carols all month long tends to do that to me.

...I hope you all had a good Black Friday, specifically you early-morning consumers. Hope you got some good deals, and I also hope that as of this writing you've finally scraped the last bit of temp worker flesh from the treads of your sneakers. What the hell is the matter with you people?

...Now that December's started, I won't be taking any more custom orders for Christmas. The ones I already have are keeping me busy, and I don't know how needed I'll be at my steady job. Sorry about that.

But there will be new monsters throughout the month, so purchase those if you will. ;)

Winter has arrived...

...bringing out the faux Norsemen inside myself. As much of a bummer as the cold months of November through February are, they tend to make the metal music crunchier.

As for the holiday blues, do what I do: watch all manner of disgusting horror films throughout Black Friday to Christmas Day. Remember in Pulp Fiction when they drove that giant adrenaline needle into Uma Thurman's ticker? That's what Cannibal Holocaust will do for me after I psychologically overdose on too much holiday cheer and needless hype.


...Doing some Christmas commissions right now, but I wanted to post this up real quick. Back in the spring, my friend Heather asked me to make her a random smattering of miniatures to reward her most exceptional karate students. It's something I've kept meaning to post after finishing it in the summer.

Here are my favorite ones- the guy with the kama and the demon mask, specifically.

Speaking of minis, there's a few more in the store now. Buy them.

Gears of War and Gifts of Win

I was commissioned by a member of Etsy to build some Gears of War miniatures as a gift. Here are Damon Baird, Augustus "The Cole Train" Cole, and a Locust Drone. Behold:



Baird, Cole and the Locust Drone stand approximately 2.5" (6.35 cm) high. Their battle armor is built from felt and little balsa wood risers in their boots. Baird wields a shotgun, the Drone packs a sub-machine gun, and Cole has that wicked assault rifle with the chainsaw underneath- all the weapons are built from plastic, wood and felt.

I finally broke down and bought a used copy of Gears of War for reference. (Video games as tax write-offs. My job now officially pwns.) Frankly I don't get excited anymore over soldiers in big bulky battle armor, looking like Volkswagen Impersonators, or V.I. JOEs for short. ALIENS was 20 years ago, and that's all I'll say because that little nugget of knowledge packs glass shards in it, and doesn't go down quite so easily.

I always thought GoW was a first-person shooter which- unless it's Condemned- doesn't do much for me either- o Frith and Inle; I'm impossible to please. Turns out the game is in third-person perspective. I see what the fuss is about- it's memorable, it's exciting, and it's actually pretty innovative. Shooting petrol tanks to light up the night and (old school alert!) thwart the grues, though, is very intense. Remember the grues from Zork...? They now have wings. And numbers.

I'm not sold on the cover system, probably because the auto-aim of both Manhunt or Grand Theft Auto IV have spoiled me. I know I don't like enemies that take six or seven rounds to the head before sating the maggot munchies. And I am amused that super-soldier Marcus Fenix can't jump over anything in his path unless he first bashes the object with his armored butt.

(....)

...Anyway, my birthday is coming up and it's around this time that I inform people of what I would like. My mantra has always been Horror Movies~Heavy Metal~Video Games~Horror Movies~Heavy Metal~Video Games and it rings louder in this economy. Three pages of ideas comprise my Amazon Wish List, and I also decree that my thirty-fucking-seventh year on Earth shalt be heralded with Liu Kang- that Shaolin slab of mutton- getting his teeth kicked in by The Joker. ...Let's hear you cluck your HAI-YAHs through cheeks pulled back to your EARS, cheese-boy...!

If you want to get creative on me I would love an official Blood Island- you know, the Shark Board- professionally printed and Plak-It'ed for AMPUTHEATRE combat- but that'd be kind of hard to surprise me with. You'd have to wrestle me to the ground and run off with my AMPUTHEATRE data, specifically the Official Board CD and the Dremel Font, and assure me that it would all be for a good cause.

...What might be easier? Learn enough Cyrillic to go to Alkonost's official website and buy me an album. Say it with me: FUCK THE SHIPPING COSTS; THE GIL-MONSTER NEEDS ARIAS, WINDMILLS, AND METEORITES! RUSSIAN METEORITES!!

Now if you'll excuse me, I feel the need to storm something.

Oh, should I post something here...?

I need to return to blogging. I realize that I expressly made this blog to do just that, and the idea of writing has just... meh. So I kind of swore to myself that after the Presidential Election (wow, history has occurred! Pretty cool!) I'd resume keyboarding incessantly about nothing again. Well, not nothing...


The ZombieFest 2008 was a wonderful affair and we had a great time all around. It was the best I had ever done at a show like that, so let's keep the event in the mall next year as well. (Nothing like being across from a Rite-Aid when you've forgotten something for your booth.) My wife and I took many, many pictures during the event, and you can find those here.

The Chenille Macabre store has been stocked with new monsters every week this year. I've lost track of how many I've made all told, and if you've bought a monster from me you are my new best friend. This week's monsters are the following:

The feral Snow Akuneko, the fearless Spartan, the mysterious Ghost Pirate, and the conniving Dark Elf. Snap them up, quick.

But mostly I miss yapping about horror films I've seen and complaining about webstuff, I promise to do that more often. Honest.