Monday, November 9, 2009

The Lawn is my Master

embleer Frith; I suck at updating this. I'm really trying that once-a-week updating deal but I'm pretty bad at it. Know that once you get yourself a house, lawnwork becomes your new hobby. Whether you want it to or not, it forces its way into your itinerary with a loud barrel voice and nematocyst-tinged elbows:
"WHO are YOU pussies?"
"Um, we're Gil's hobbies: Video Games, Horror Movies, and Bad Movies..."
"ONE SIDE!!! MWA HA HA HA!!! I'm LAWN CARE and I'M in charge now!!"
"HEY! You can't just barge in here like you own the place!"
"Says WHO!?"
"Says ME: Pipe Cleaner Sculpture! And Gil wants to build the Black Dragon Clan from Mortal Kombat today!"
"YEAH? Well, lawn ain't looking so GOOD out there, ya KNOW!? Be a REAL SHAME if those LEAVES weren't raked before the SNOW falls..."
"Yes, but..."
" 'But', my ASS; grab that RAKE, bitch! Hey: Video Games! MILK, no sugar!"

So I hope you all had a great Halloween. This was me. You like it...? I had tons of people confused over how the zombie rabbit worked. My wife was my lovely zombie assistant, and we won second place in the Halloween contest. Yayz.

Because I'm a horror nut who announces for the Roc City Roller Derby, I got to help introduce Night Of The Living Dead at the Little Theatre as part of their 25-Hour Film Festival! That was a great honor. Then Saturday morning was AMPUTHEATRE at Rudicon 2009. And here's where I make fun of y'all: I counted at most five people in costume, including me. Come ON, gamers. It's Halloween- the super-duper shroud of protection for a gaming convention because you can dress however you want! Did you wave your Dork Flag high? You didn't, did you. Sigh. I'll forgive you because I had fun.

I debuted a new Slasher at Rudicon: representing the Evil Little Girl genre in AMPUTHEATRE is the hideous Portia:

Unruly and bratty, Amanda Goode was enrolled into the convent at The Church Of The Cleansing Moon at the age of six. After three years of trying to living up to the challenging Catholic ideals, she discovered The Church’s grim secret- virgin girls were bled out to rejuvenate the strength of the Mother Superior. On the run with this knowledge, Amanda was rescued by road travellers who eventually revealed themselves to be acolytes of the notorious Spider Cult. Her conflict of faith made her easy prey to the spell of the high priest Lycosus. Seeing much potential in the young girl, Lycosus educated her in the Cult’s arcane sorceries. Amanda was ultimately transformed into the grotesque Portia (named after a genus of jumping spider). The sheer distance of her leaps and the strength of her venom (the most toxic in all the Cult) hastened her prominence within the Cult, as well as to Lycosus’ side as his betrothed. Though much too young to legally compete in the AMPUTHEATRE, Portia nonetheless breaks into the arena to liberate her high priest and lover.

So yes, Lycosus seems to be a pedophile. I hope that doesn't make you feel less about a religious fanatic who has murdered hundreds of people.

I've tried making a bride for Lycosus before, but this is the one that's really taken hold. Portia has crazy-ass long-range charges and damaging poisonous bites. Of note is her Safety Line Evil Deed, which lets her land from a botched charge safely out of the Counter-Range of her opponent, and Headdesk, a combination Stun-and-Move.

Huge kudos to my friend Seth Ruskin who just this past weekend ran a game of AMPUTHEATRE at Edison, NJ's UberCon! I can't wait to hear how it went! This was the first show that AMPUTHEATRE was at and I wasn't! cool, huh? Don't forget: if you want your own set, I'm very easy to contact.

Speaking of which, look who's now available in the AMPUTHEATRE store:
Yep, the evil Lycosus himself! Dismemberable and devious! Buy him today!

The new website is coming along nicely. The rulebook has been edited (hail Liz Reay; get better soon, hon'!) and I'm going to have that up on the site soon.

...I wanted to host a game of AMPUTHEATRE on Friday the 13th, but I don't think that's happening. This Saturday however, the Roc City Roller Derby has a double-header: their final bout of the season, so I'll be hosting that. Double-headers are tiring, so I think I'm gonna end this post now and rest up for it. And I think the lawn needs me.

New monsters in the Chenille Macabre store. Bah mah sheeit.