Monday, January 11, 2010

So quit with the cocaine jokes already

ew Years Resolution #1; update this thing more often!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Most everyone you listen to said that 2009 sucked, but the new house I live in keeps me kind of quiet in that regard. As for the decade... well, House + Marriage + patented game + pipe cleaners as job + fulfilled a life goal of appearing in a B-movie (Poultygeist) = satisfied Gil-Monster.

I did some custom work over the holiday. This is my most depraved and macabre work yet... hold onto your socks...

That's right: The Barenaked Ladies! I was commissioned to make the entire band as a Christmas gift, as they were before Steven Page departed.

Seeing as how this is my first ever drum kit, I think I did an okay job. No, Tyler can't hit the snare. Yes, his chest is pressed into the bass drum. But the cymbals look good- thank you, Maria from Dan's Crafts and Things, for suggesting the bases of cheap wedding favor champagne glasses would make excellent facsimiles!

Inspired by Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, the Ladies decided to hold a benefit concert at Correctional Facility Alpha for the AMPUTHEATRE Slashers. It goes pretty poorly from the opening number: Lord Morax sneaks on stage and plays "Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse" during "One Week", causing a riot even before Ed Robertson can rap about being Aquaman.

Which led to the real reason Steven Page left the band...

Speaking of AMPUTHEATRE, if you check out its site, you'll see a big four-oh-four on the Slashers and Traps pages. There's a good reason for this: I quit paying for LiveJournal. I don't use it anymore (even less than this blog) so my photo albums are gone from it. I have new pages on the way, and they're easier to navigate and even better than before. Hang tight. It'll be worth it.

We had a game of AMPUTHEATRE this Friday and I debuted an all-new Slasher. Behold: the broadcast terrorist Quacksalver:

The signal was first hijacked during the fourth season premiere of the “Jinglebunny” television show: a man dressed in a plague mask and surgical scrubs aired instead. Introducing himself as “Quacksalver”, he informed his viewers that the Slashers were once innocent people before the government turned them into agents of death. The Amputech, he posed, was actually a man-made viral agent transmitted via basic human contact and inflicting permanent homicidal insanity. Only bleeding by leeches could cure the affliction as they were “drawn to the oxidized salts in Amputech molecules”. This pirate broadcast aired over forty more times on television before Quacksalver was identified as radio personality Benjamin Pauling and captured. It is still unknown if Quacksalver actually subscribes to his grossly incorrect theories, but the debate as to whether or not he is responsible for hundreds of deaths- whether the suicides of people who believed themselves infected, or the murders from dozens of city riots caused by the hysteria- is to be resolved in the AMPUTHEATRE.

Quacksalver doesn't look it, but he's a bruiser. Most of his Evil Deeds are at most troublesome hexes, so his basic attacks make up the damage quotient. He moves fast, too. Of note are his Leech Swarm, in which he throws a handful of leeches as an AOE Stab attack, and his Jam Transmission, in which he can actually cancel the decrees from the Evil Wardens. It's nice to know that someone in the arena can shut off the one-man-death-machine-power-up we know and love as the Norse Monkey Fury.

If you haven't, join the Chenille Macabre Facebook page. And then tell all your friends about how awesome custom pipe cleaner monsters are. That would be good.

...I knew I had other stuff to talk about, but I think I'll save that for next time. I leave now to play with the jigsaw I got for Xmas. Play me out, BNL!

If I had a million dollars
I would buy you a house

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