Monday, April 6, 2009

The spiders are dead; long live the lobsters!

...I seem to be on a nipple-piercing kick this week at Chenille Macabre; as our new Gangbanger Mini with Machete and Pit Fiend Mini with Chain Whip both dangle gold rings from their chest anomalies.

Meanwhile in the AMPUTHEATRE, a new figure of the sinister nightmare stalker Mr. Eyeball Plucker graces the store, and he is accompanied by the psychotic Trigger Treat- a murderous, pumpkin-headed redneck with a makeshift pistol.

All handmade, all unique, all poseable! Buy yours today!

Also, we will have a game of AMPUTHEATRE at the Village Gate in Rochester NY, this Friday (April 10) at around 7 pm. Come play the evil game and see what the fuss is about.


I went to our local Christmas Tree Store this morning because my Glue Gun Security Spiders died. But what really annoyed me about the Christmas Tree Store is that-

...Oh, my Glue Gun Security Spiders? When I plug my glue gun into the wall, it's connected to string lights so I know it's on. If I see glowing spider lights, then I know not to leave the house until I yank the lights from the wall. And these lights have casings over them that resemble spiders on them. Halloween lights. Simple.

So I need new string lights, but the Christmas Tree Store isn't a holiday store at all: it's a bargain closeout place. Maybe this is old news to everyone else, but can you blame me for being confused? The facade of the building looks like a holiday store, and a sorry glut of us have spent the last eight years arguing, spitting, and swearing up and down that Christmas was "under attack", or some such idiocy.

But I did get a new set of string lights there. They're lobsters. The Glue Gun Security Team is now a fully crustacean operation.

This is acceptable; my wife is from Maine, after all.

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