Octopunch! Octopunch!! OCTOPUNCH!!!

Working on a new AMPUTHEATRE travel set. This is for the still-under-construction-but-not-for-much-longer Crowley Museum board...

This deck will be for two boards; the Crowley Museum has an Egyptian Hall and a Dinosaur Hall. So we get a nifty blend of Egyptian weapons, prehistoric relics and archaeological tools...

The dinosaur skulls were bought at a craft store in one of those Nature Toobs for like eight bucks; they were eight or nine more skulls in the set. The Parasaurolophus Skull can be wielded like a sledgehammer. The Neanderthal Club at the lower right is a plastic (I think) X-Men accessory, with coyote teeth drilled into place as a homage to Slash of Eternal Champions fame. (The other bones are part of something else; I'll show that off later.)

I love how the Khopesh (sicklesword) came out. The Crook and the Flail can be dual-wielded (provided you find them) and turn your Slasher into a combat machine. And the Jack Hammer is instant death for any prone Slasher near it; it gains a Range advantage against Fallen because of an issue that really pissed off my wife during a playtest ten or so years ago. Should have this deck done by RunningGAGG...

(....)

So in her quest to clean out the attic, my mom sent up a smattering of our old toys, including some Generation 1 Transformers. I'm deciding what to do with them apart from Octopunch. Octopunch stays because he is named OCTOPUNCH; "Octopunch Merritt" has an excellent ring to it and they'll be all like That's a strange name for a girl but it's MY KID DAMMIT...

I forgot I had this guy. No, he IS a Transformer. This figure is actually a shell that cracks open to reveal a robot who turns into a crab, who- as a Robot In Disguise- felt rather conspicuous scuttling around Earth as a crab (and I don't need to remind you how cluttered your daily commute is with eighty-foot-high sea monsters).

"Ha HA! I blend SEAMLESSLY!"

In his left hand, Octopunch is holding a Targetmaster- another robot. So yeah, his henchman turns into his gun. Kind of a cool concept until a sarcastic cynic in his early '40s says y'KNOW, it looks like this Targetmaster's large intestine has extended beyond his rectum and calcified into a gun barrel; I mean LOOK AT IT:

"UNNNNGH!"

A new fighting force joins the Cybertronian Wars... the Hemorrhoids.

TRANSFORMERS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE,
HEMORRHOIDS RAISE THEIR ASSES TO THE SKY
TO POO DIRECTLY AT
THE DECEPTICONS

I'm sure there's a rich and detailed history regarding the Transformers if its fans want to correct and enlighten me with a dearth of OH ASSBASKETS; WE CAN'T LEAVE COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG; SON OF A BITCH...

Back to work on this Museum Deck. If my wife can stop making me post about robotic ballistic excrement (it was all her idea...)

-The Gil-Monster